Odd.
I am supposed to be feeling frantic, nervous, unhappy, in denial, hysterical: in short, all the adjectives used to describe women of a "certain age." Yet I have this sense of peace, calm, serenity, and accomplishment.
I am turning 35 years old and feel that the things that matter, I have accomplished. I studied Freud, Shakespeare, da Vinci, Newton, and Baldor. I married the person I love, I have 3 loving and fun boys, I have forged the relationship I yearned for with my parents and brothers, I have gained a new sister (and who knows, a new brother, too I hope), I've read Allende and McCourt, I've seen Luis Miguel in concert (twice), lived in many places I call home, felt heartbreak, happiness, disappointment, love, and rage. In short, I have experience life.
Funny how our priorities change along with the newfound extra pounds,white hairs and crow's lines. Once, I dreamt about a knight in shining armor who would recite poetry, make love to me every single night, send flowers just because it is Monday, and tell me over and over that I am like the wind. My knight and I would be professionals with plenty of money to hire a full time nanny, housekeeper, and cook. We would need an intercom to find the kids around the house. We would have a family car plus his and her fun cars. In our spare time, we would save the world jetting around to rid the world of war and hunger. We would be Brad and Angelina, Maddox, Zahara, and Shiloh. Yet God is good. God made us the Seides. We have a mortgage to pay, cars that need repairs, dishes that need to be washed, a younger child that gets hand me down clothes from, not one, but two brothers. God gave me, not the life I dreamt of, but the life I need.
At 35 I am me, my husband, and my children. And I feel blessed. Thank you Lord!
PS Ok, I did get that tattoo I dreamt of for so long! Who ever said 35 year olds are not daredevils?
Copyright 2007.
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