Housewife Feminism

I was recently confronted by a militant feminist friend of mine, whom I'll call Kelly. We were talking about how feminism has evolved over the decades, not only in the US, but worldwide. As always, Kelly tried to convince me to join NOW. She has been an active member for some years now and is very proud of her accomplishments (as well should she be). I think she believes the reasons why I can't join are basically a litany of excuses because, according to her, I am not a true feminist.

Besides not attending NOW sessions, joining demonstrations, or writing to my local congressperson, I wear make-up, I shave my legs and armpits, pluck my eyebrows, and enjoy wearing the occassional sexy black dress with perky high heeled shoes. Oh, and I drive a mini-van around town, am not co-habiting with my legally wedded husband, and the biggest no-no of all, actually share important decisions with him.

I do not believe I am better or inferior to men. I believe I am equal to men (well, most of them).

I believe in God, the Holy Spirit, and Jesus Christ. This belief makes me a member of a group that has had a history of oppressing women over the centuries and will probably continue to do so over time. I am not overly concerned whether I should call my deity God or Godess. I have been personally touched by sermons delivered by male and female pastors. I believe that I will achieve salvation through my faith, regardless of details.

I do not apologize for any of the above. I am actually proud of who I am, of the person I have forged myself to be. I do not bombard my three sons with sermons about women's rights and emancipation. I do not nag my husband about why he should help around the house (besides, he lives in this house, so he is not helping anybody when he does his share of chores).

I teach my sons by example. And that is the best lesson I have to offer them. I chose a good man to be my husband. You will not hear him utter an unkind word towards me. He loves me and shows his love in many many ways (just right now he came by to say that dinner will be ready in 5). My sons see me reading books, watching the news (and being very opinionated about politics, since I am always arguing with the TV), and going to work just like Daddy does.

I am a suburban housewife feminist. And oftentimes, that is how society changes, from within the small nucleus of the family. My children's future significant others will appreciate that. They will have husbands who respect them and treat them accordingly. My sons will be men that grow up used to the fact that women go to school and work along men and there's no need to make a huge fuss over that.

The fact that I can decide not to join militant feminist groups, the fact that I chose my career, chose my husband, chose to have 3 children, that makes me a part of a new breed of feminists. The kind that does not allow other men or women to decide for me. The housewife feminist!

Copyright 2007.